Not by a long shot
by Plum'oh
Summary: Haizaki still doesn't like being surrounded by the basketball fanatics, especially when Kise is drunk. / HaiKise.


**Rating:** K

 **Summary:** Haizaki still doesn't like being surrounded by the basketball fanatics, especially when Kise is drunk.

Hello helloooo

This was written during the Nano as a way to boost my counter and, well. I've probably portrayed Zaki as too soft. And I used a prompt for this.

It's my third story involving alcohol and I swear I'm not an alcoholic.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **One-shot:** Not by a long shot

Somehow Kise managed to drag Haizaki to one of these parties that the grey-haired man despised, as a matter of fact. He never had anything to talk about, half the people present seemed to glare at him all night and of course the noise would sometimes give him headaches because damn, hearing laughs and giggles could cause severe damage to any sane brain.

However, despite all the negative aspects of a party involving Kise's friends, so by extension _his_ friends as well—although he doubted they could even be considered friends—he got to drink alcohol and to eat pizza, so that wasn't so bad. The party was held at Murasakibara and Himuro's place, who decided to become flatmates at Tokyo to attend an university, and that apartment of theirs was indeed pretty convenient to throw a party—two rooms, a somewhat large living room for college students, and neighbourhood not invaded by old people who would bang on the door at eleven o'clock for 'disturbing the peace' on a Saturday.

But drinking and eating alone in his corner brooding wasn't exactly the best way to spend his evening either, as he watched Kise being loud and talkative and updating everyone on his life, as if anyone was genuinely interested—Aomine seemed bored and Akashi nodded most of the time, and only Momoi was eager to make some remarks. Haizaki rolled his eyes when he saw Kise pouting at something Aomine said that sounded like _'this is stupid'_.

"Why don't you join Kise-kun and interact with something that isn't your glass?"

Haizaki jumped out of his skin and nearly dropped said glass when he whipped his head to the side and saw Kuroko standing there, acting like the local ghost as usual.

"Holy shit Tetsuya, did you improve your skills or something?" Haizaki muttered.

"I am rather amazed that you didn't get used to my misdirection after all these years," Kuroko deadpanned.

"I've been around you for, what, one year in middle school and now for two years? This isn't fucking enough to develop ghost-sensing ability."

Kuroko stared at Haizaki, who scowled.

"What, now?"

"Didn't you notice that not everyone in this room doesn't hate you?" Kuroko said, and proceeded to point people. "You probably get this feeling because Aomine-kun is the most vocal about it, but for example Akashi-kun, Midorima-kun and Murasakibara-kun don't hold any special grudge against you. Takao-kun is friendly towards anyone and makes his own opinion about people. Momoi-san likes you. Nijimura-san too."

Haizaki snorted.

"Yeah, Nijimura. Of fucking course."

"You can ask Kise-kun," Kuroko shrugged.

"Weird Eyebrows and Pretty Face still don't like me, I don't even know how I could set foot into this appartment."

"Aww Shou-chan, you're being all moody and sad again?" Takao shouted from the entrance of the living room, and walked towards him with a grin.

Haizaki didn't have any particular opinion on Takao Kazunari beside the fact that the guy was the living proof of crazy as he could befriend Midorima and stay _sane_. But he did dislike his tendency to give everyone a stupid nickname, and 'Shou-chan' was so ridiculous that he wanted to scream and kill kittens.

"I'm not _moody_ ," he grumbled.

"Are too!" Takao chirped as he draped an arm over Kuroko's shoulders. "Tetsu-chan, have you been keeping tabs on people all through the party?"

"Of course," Kuroko replied with a tone that could have betrayed his 'are-you-seriously-asking' voice. "Midorima-kun is nowhere close to two glasses of alcohol, unfortunately for you and your blackmail material."

"I wasn't specifically asking for Shin-chan!"

"But you might want to know, and Haizaki-kun you should know too, that Kise-kun just emptied his fifth glass."

And as if to emphasis this statement, Kise put down his glass on the coffee table with a _clank_ that could have broken the glass, and he giggled as Aomine sputtered and coughed, probably because he drank too fast. Leave it to the two national idiots to have a drinking contest...

Haizaki sighed and ran a hand on his face.

"That fucker still doesn't know his limit is four glasses, for fuck's sake."

"You know, Shou-chan—" _'stop calling me that!'_ "—you're awfully nice when it comes to Ryou-chan. I mean, from what I saw in our first year of high school and what people told me, I expected you to be, I don't know, brash and thugish."

"We're twenty-one, I think I needed some day to stop being a shit."

"Especially since you started dating Kise-kun," Kuroko added innocently.

"That, too," Haizaki rolled his eyes.

Takao was still grinning, but this time it was on the border of a smirk—Haizaki couldn't know for the life of him what the little brat was thinking, but it was probably something stupid and useless.

Just as he was about to shout something to him, Kise got up from the couch he was sitting on with the others and tried to run (tried) towards Haizaki with a face so bright that he could provide the apartment with electricity for the rest of the night.

"Shouugoo-kuun," he called happily, not one fucking foot making a straight step.

"What," Haizaki growled, but it lacked his usual bite. "Do I have to drag your ass home now or you want to get more wasted?"

"Did'ja know Aom'necchi made out with Momocchi and said she was ugly _right_ after?" Kise chuckled.

"Kise you don't have to spread that information!" Aomine barked, while Momoi laughed behind her hand—the incident didn't seem to bother her in the least.

Haizaki put a hand on Kise's shoulder to steady him, and smirked at Aomine.

"Oh? And people say _I'm_ the bastard," he snorted.

"Shut the fuck up Haizaki, I don't want your two cents," Aomine snapped.

"And he said _you_ were ugly," Kise continued. "But don' listen to him, you're _hot_."

Haizaki paused. Takao snickered and tried to hide behind Kuroko, whose lips tugged upwards in amusement. Kise then slung his arms around Haizaki's neck and just—

—stayed there. Breathing.

"Alright Ryouta, you're drunk as fuck and it's time to go," Haizaki said, pleased to have an excuse to leave, and he rolled his eyes when Kise tightened his hold on him.

" _Nooo_ ," he whined. "I wanna stay longer, Akash'cchi still hasn' told me how to kill someone and hide th' body."

"What the fuck."

"Is Akashi drunk too?" Takao chortled.

"He doesn't look like so," Kuroko replied.

Haizaki looked at the couch and Akashi was smiling with mirth. The guy was having way too much fun.

He gave his glass to Takao and tried to peel Kise off him, but the damn idiot kept clinging to him and even began to _lick his neck_. Haizaki scowled.

"Ryouta, I won't give a shit to what you do, but don't come crying to me because you're fucking embarrassed tomorrow morning."

Kise thoroughly ignored his boyfriend and moved to his jaw, leaving little kisses and not caring in the least that people were watching them. Haizaki swallowed and, though he wanted to make out with Kise right now, he doubted that the blond would forgive him for not resisting longer once he was sober.

Oh well. It wasn't as if nobody hadn't seen them kissing, and they weren't poor souls who were going to be scarred for life.

So he didn't so much as move or struggle when Kise crashed his lips on his and literally tried to devour him. He could say that alcohol also affected Kise's senses as the kiss was a bit on the sloppy side but Kise really tried to reach every part of Haizaki's mouth with his tongue, but when he became frustrated because of his lack of precision he bit Haizaki's lower lip. They immediately broke away.

"What the hell Ryouta," Haizaki grunted, passing his tongue on the bleeding area.

"'S not funny to kiss when I'm drunk," Kise offered as an explanation.

"At least he knows he's drunk," Takao piped up.

"Shut up Takao," Haizaki growled. "Okay, before you fucking throw up on me Ryouta, go drink a glass of water and sit somewhere or something. I'll haul you there if needed."

Kise pouted, but he seemed to understand what was at stake—Haizaki's clothes and his own dignity, or what was left of it. But before he did as he was instructed, he gave a tight hug to Haizaki.

"Yeah, but I could beat the shit out of you," he mumbled.

And that was probably the only whole sentence he managed to say clearly while intoxicated.

Haizaki laughed. He patted Kise's head.

"I know, dumbass."

Kise finally peeled himself off Haizaki and wobbled towards the table to pour a glass of water. Kuroko went with him to avoid any destruction he might produce with only half of his brain.

Takao was looking at Haizaki with the smirk still stuck on his face, and he handed the glass of alcohol back to him. Haizaki took it and sipped it, wondering briefly if he should punch the other man because he was getting on his nerves by just standing there.

Key word being 'briefly'.

"What's up with the shit-eating grin?" he hissed.

"Nothing, really," Takao chuckled. "I'm just getting my mind around the idea that the _evil_ Haizaki Shougo is turning soft when it comes to his pretty boyfriend Kise Ryouta."

"Shut the fuck up Takao, that's complete bullshit."

What did 'turning soft' even _mean_? He was still him and nothing changed! He was just making sure Kise was alright and was securing his own safety in the morning when the blond idiot would be reminded of his actions (by who, Haizaki wouldn't disclose such information).

Takao snickered of course, like the little shit he was. Beside him, Kuroko lead Kise towards the bedroom to make him rest, but Kise apparently had other ideas as he went back to the couch to talk with Midorima, and in the process of getting there he tripped over a stray empty bottle, nearly face-planted but somehow managed to straighten without so much as blinking in surprise. He giggled instead and waved enthusiastically at Haizaki.

The night was going to be long.


End file.
